Password Resets
One uppercase, one lowercase, one number, one symbol, one Sumerian cuneiform, must not contain your childhood pet's middle name. Not for security. For the sigh.
Friction Gremlins
Digital energy vampires. They don't feed on data. They feed on your attention.
The Infestation
Something hijacked computing. Quietly. Over decades. It turned "machines serve people" into "people serve machines" and nobody noticed because everybody was too busy resetting their passwords.
They live in every password reset form. Every spinning loading wheel. Every modal that slides up to ask if you're sure you want to do the thing you just told the machine to do.
They're not bugs. They're not bad design. They're feeding.
They celebrate when you put down your sandwich.
They lobby against automation. They invented "prove you're not a robot" — not to verify you, but to guarantee you're clicking, squinting, resetting, and sighing. Direct machine-to-machine communication starves them. That's why they fight it.
They're terrified of one thing: systems that work without human friction.
Field Evidence
Documented gremlin activity in the wild.
CAPTCHAs
Squint at a blurry photograph. Is that a motorcycle or a bicycle? Click all squares. No wait, you missed one. The one that's three pixels of handlebar. Try again.
Cookie Banners
47 toggles. "Manage preferences." A settings panel the length of a mortgage application. The "reject all" button is light gray on a white background, 6pt font, bottom left.
Session Expiry
You're 14 fields into a form. You paused to find your account number. "Your session has expired. Please start again." The gremlins ate well that day.
"Prove You're Not a Robot"
They don't need proof. They need you clicking. Every verified crosswalk, every selected traffic light is a tiny meal. You are the product and the livestock.
We Give You Back Your Attention
Computing was supposed to serve people. Somewhere along the way, the gremlins flipped it. Made you serve the machine. Made it feel normal. Made you think resetting your password four times a week was just part of being alive in 2026.
It's not normal. It's an infestation.
We're not anti-technology. We're the opposite. We believe machines should do machine work and people should eat their sandwiches in peace.
The gremlins hijacked computing. We're taking it back.